We just made our 5th move since our return to the States in February and at least once or twice every move, one family member is asking this question: “Where’s my….. (fill in the blank)” By now, we’ve seemed to have moving down to a fine science…… we can actually fit all of our belongings into two vans & I have plastic bins that keep things organized according to the area of the house they are needed in. I have the boy’s clothes each in plastic dressers, as well as our school necessities, my midwifery studies, the kitchen spices (very important!) & yes, the toothbrushes.
We actually counted up the number of moves we have made since leaving the States last June…… (drum roll, please) 9 times.
Why, you ask?
Why would one family CHOOSE to invite this chaos into their lives?
I was asking this same question over the past 2 weeks. Why ARE we choosing to do this? Last week, it didn't seem worth it. As many of you know, I have been working hard at finishing my training here, as well as working to raise the funds we need to get started over in Tanzania. Throw in a move every few weeks and on some days, the exhaustion seems overwhelming. Last week, I found myself wondering why ARE we doing this. In all the minutia of busy, I seemed to be in desperate need of re-envisioning.
Last week, I attended 4 births in 4 days & we moved in the midst of it. I found myself pining for predictability, for nesting in a house that’s ours once again, & desiring a somewhat stable rhythm of life. These are, actually, things I have always enjoyed about life…….. order, things in a nice neat package…….but right now, those things are much out of my reach. In fact, I don’t really know if those things will ever be what they were to me before....and maybe that was part of my pining. Eitherway, I felt discouragment knocking on my door and I was working hard not to open it.
Thus my need for re-envisioning.
As I was driving home after a beautiful birth, I found myself asking these questions to God. “Why are we doing this? I don’t know the road ahead of me, I only know I am following your lead. And quite frankly, at times, I need to be reminded. In these times, I come face to face with my humanness, and I know only You can give me what I need.”
Here’s what He spoke to me.
“There are women where you are going that are waiting for kindness. They are waiting for love to come visit them. They are in need of care & I want you to be my hands, feet, heart and mouth to them. I want them to know, that one family has chosen to give up what they had here to go and serve them. I want them to know THEY are worth it. Do you want to do that? Every step of the way, I want you to remember this. You are choosing this life right now so that others may know my LOVE."
Tears began to roll down my face. Yes, that's it! Yes, that is what we want. We believe that women and children are worth fighting for, that our lives are much more than the here & now, and that people are suffering because no one is caring for them. We choose this life so we can give the little we have to those who have none......Gratitude filled my heart because I had such a need to be reminded + He gave me just what I needed. The hard parts are still hard + I don't know if they will get "easier" and I think, maybe this is growing me in patience + contentment (you can ask my kids), BUT I know that He provides all we need AS we walk forward....
....And the more I travel on this road, the more I realize that my real freedom, comes not from stability and predictability, and not even from living in my own home, but from focusing my heart and mind on something bigger than myself, someone bigger than myself. We are one family that has been radically changed by LOVE & we are compelled, beyond this life, to give it away.
There are many of you who have been helping us remember this too. https://fundrazr.com/campaigns/dWjj0
Many of you who are giving support to us right now are laying a foundation of encouragment for us. Everyday, we are watching you partner with us & we know that together we are making this a reality. Every one of you who is giving financially to this endeavor is bringing us all one step closer to changing the lives of women and children in Tanzania. Thank you!!!! It is amazing what a group of people can accomplish coming together for a common cause. Never let anyone tell you that we can't change the world. WE CAN. Together. One small step at a time.
Please continue to repost our fundrazr campaign site (above). We need to keep spreading the word. We are 30% raised and have about a month to get to 100%. Let's make it viral! Let's rise up and stand together to improve the lives of families in Africa.
Now, back to looking for my toothbrush.........