carrying on...

we just returned from a fantastic weekend with our family back in Youngstown. and to boot, my sister and brother-in-law were there from D.C.! our time there was short but packed with activity; a trip to a fruit farm i once worked at in high school and college, a night at the Elm Road Drive-In and Warren, OH and a trip to the Canfield Fair. we did it up big this Labor Day weekend. we left our dog, Gracie, behind at my mom's place, saying goodbye for a while.

we are now firmly entrenched in reality here in Cbus. our days lately have been nothing less than trying on all fronts. and it seems there's no end in sight. family dynamics, finances and faulty machinery seems to plague us on all fronts. it has, of late, been a drain on our time and energy. take now, for instance. its 5:42 AM. most days i'd be happily working out at the gym, focused and ready for all that the day has to throw at me. how do i really feel? unsure about everything that this day has. tied up inside and twisted. my only consolation is this growing faith inside me that all these circumstances are being thrown at me (us) for a reason. i have to believe this. i have no other option. either i believe in a god with good intentions or i don't. if i do, then i must see through the circumstances and let it change me.

in some ways i bet that this is how life is lived in the third world. always on the edge. straddling the past and future in such a way that make it all the more evident that the present is the only thing that matters. this flies in the face of all that i am. im a planner, a builder of future things. lately, i've been reduced to a guy who just wants the day to go well. i will likely survive this day, and the better for it i'm sure. my strategy, you ask? a sign in our church office sums it up quite nicely. it is a British propaganda poster from WWII, instructing its citizens on how to deal with life when nothing seems safe or secure. it reads, Keep Calm and Carry On. i will do this today...